


The Quarrel Amoung Friends...And Then Some

by Kakasakufangirl



Series: Bad Days, Sad Days [7]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Fluffy Peices, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2018-08-27 05:41:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8389387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kakasakufangirl/pseuds/Kakasakufangirl
Summary: The gang's all here. With that big weight lifted off his chest Tony feels at easy with himself. Now that he doesn't have to worry about Obadiah coming after him anymore he feels as if he can set things straight with his friends.





	1. Dinner Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything is reveled in good time.

Laughter filled the table as drinks were clanked together in excitement. Faces all happy from this sudden if not weird reconciliation. Tony glance from face to face all too aware of how surreal this was. He was seated around his friends just enjoying himself not worrying about when it was all going to fall about.

After two excruciating days with his family members who all but got on his nerves he finally got a little time to himself. Once he did, he escaped to the confines of his room where he called up Clint. Apparently they were all hanging out over at his house, with the exception of Steve and Tin Head, since his mom wasn't home and wanted him to come over.

While he was keen on the idea he told them that his family was over and he couldn't find the time to get away. Plus his mother and father have been really on his case about knowing where he was going so he figure he'd leave that out.

They seem to be taking this whole parenting thing serious.

While sneaking out was out of the question the boy had asked Tony if he could have dinner with the rest of them to which Tony replied a little too eagerly. He knew that Clint took note on it and probably told the others about it but right now he didn't want to be confined in his parent's suffocating watch.

It was a new experience for him and he kind of liked it but at the same time he kind of didn't. After having a short chat with everyone he rushed down the stairs before anyone noticed that he was gone. When his parents weren't too busy he asked if he could go. That in itself was strange to him. Back when things were a little less complicated and a lot easier, going out seemed like a small task.

They weren't exactly for the idea after their discussion...and rather him stay home. Surprisingly enough it was his mother who gave in first and said yes while his father wanted to secure a safety harness around him. She said that he'd need his space for now and that if it was truly what he wanted then he could have it.

While he didn't want them to worry about it he asked if they'd drop him off and he catch a ride home with one of his friends. They like that plan and seemed more relaxed because of it. It was suffocating.

'Baby steps', he said as he reminded himself that they were just being his parents. So while they got to play family for ten minutes in the car which would've been a fifteen minute walk for him, his friends were standing outside in the cool air waiting for him.

He said goodbye hopped out and walked up to them. He knew that inwardly they were watching every interaction he had with his parents since they knew about the whole-Obadiah thing. They were the ones that told them. He figured that if they didn't get as controlling as they were now then that his parents were too fucked up to care about him.

How did they know though?

'Probably because of all the times you've had to sneak you into their homes at night. You didn't hang out with them everyday. They would've eventually gathered and had a discussion about you. Idiot.' His brain chastened him.

They needn't be so worried about him. He could take care of himself. He thought plainly as he approached them. Natasha was the first to hug him. She at least bore a broad grin on her face that was somewhat lacking in her usual attire but he held onto it no less. It was familiar and he missed things familiar.

"Hey...we've missed you." She stated softly. So soft he barley recognised that it was her voice. She sounded hollow. Not herself. The smile could've been a front to make it seem like she was okay but he could tell she wasn't. None of them were.

"I've had to deal with nothing but grouchy boys who done nothing but treat me like a delicate flower. I need a little chaos in my life." As she said that she hooked an arm around him and dragged him over to the rest.

Bruce gave him a small smile while Thor, that big oaf, heaved him into a bundle of warmth and happiness. Tony could tell that the blonde was trying to make him feel better by the way he hugged. Those hugs were meant to mend, to heal. He wasn't broken just slightly cracking inside. He could be fixed. Not broken just damaged.

While normally he would protest to one of the gentle giants hugs, right now they were worth more than help from the psychologist his parents were taking him to next week.

Thor finally set him down and he felt heavy again but not as heavy as yesterday. "Thanks Thor. That helped." Did that sound dead to him? He sounded dead. And why was he saying that it helped. He should be acting like nothing has effected him. He should be acting like Tony Stark. Not like someone ran over his dog and killed it.

A hand was placed on his shoulder. Grounding him. "That's what friends are for right Stark." Clint's voice echoed in his ears. Tony turned towards him and offered a light hearted smile.

At least...he tried.

"Where's Steve? And that thing that follows Steve." Tony asked not trying to hide the distant in his voice. "I heard them over your house last night. Since they heard I was coming they decided not to come?" There was light accusation in his voice making him hate himself even more. It wasn't his fault because Clint had offered. Guilt was ridden all over the archers face. Please don't feel that way Clint. He begged inwardly.

Before he could apologize Bruce walk up beside him and answered. " _Bucky_ and Steve said that they'd come by a little latefro His green eye attacked Tony slightly for snapping. Inwardly he knew h deserved it.

"Come on you guys. Today's a celebration. The gangs getting back together. No need to get offensive today of all days." She said trying to form a smile and failing so she frowned instead. "Or else the only celebrating you'll be doing is celebrating the dead." That was more like the Natasha he knew. "Now let's go."

As she said that she dragged Bruce and he behind her while pushing Thor inside. He hoped that Clint had enough braincells to know to follow. Thankfully he did.

  


~ • ~

  


So here they all were sitting around a table enjoying themselves. It felt like sweet serenity to him instead of the agonising hell that he'd been in for the past month. It was nice just to talk, like really talk with them again. Although none of them had enough courage to asked him if his parents talked to him about their current mob vote. He suspected that it was either of out loyalty or peace of mind for him.

In truth, he really didn't want to discuss it with them either. He didn't want to tell them how stupid his reasoning behind not coming to school was like he did his parents. He didn't want them to question his motives for following a man he didn't truly know into an abandoned building. How stupid he was to get back into the same car after it happened the last time?

Tony didn't want to hear it because he knew he was stupid for it but he had hoped that things would get better; they didn't. Now they were, at least he hoped they were. After this he had hoped that he could rekindle his friendship with everyone and they could go back to being the inseparable group they once were. With the exception of B-Bu-...Metal Mouth.

He'd have to except that idiot if he wanted Steve to come back into his life. After all, why would he let one little hiccup with asshole ruin the fourteen years of friendship with Steve. That would be stupid and Stark like. He didn't want to be like his family. He wanted to be different.

Tony wanted to have friends that didn't become enemies in the future. He wanted to keep Steve in his life as long as he could before things got too damaged and hard.

"Tony?" He heard Natasha speak up as he peered up from his dinner. It was only partially eaten and he had stopped after a long time ago to stare and frame every curve and inch of their faces. Their eyes all ingested into each others. Their smiles saved for one another's. It was hard not to fall victim to their love.

To his left Clint was doing some weird impression of their gym teacher who had been pissed one day when all the guys came out one day and didn't take a shower. Boy did he turn another shade of red. The archer was laughing up a storm for he was one of the idiots that organized and did the stunt. Poor man, he'd have Clint for another two years before he graduated from high school.

Tony caught the two recipients of Clint's entertainment. Thor sitting next to the shorter of the two had leant over and whispered some into the archer's ear. Another one of their inside jokes since they had the same gym class together. The gentle giant could've possibly participated in this class act, only furthering Bruce's amusement. It was like that back and forth between the two. Each telling a time were they caused their gym teacher hell. Tony was sure there was a version of that story were they even got naked and walked around the school.

He could only shake his head. Those two. Poor Brucie. He face heated up at the image of both boys walking around the school naked. The guy really needed to get laid with someone with a lot of experience who deserved to be with him and there wasn't that many people out there that fit that criteria. At least, none that Tony would know. He loved Bruce to death but he wouldn't just pick any girl. There were certain regulations she'd have to go through if she wanted to date the boy.

He'd make sure of it.

"Tony, are you alright?" Natasha asked with more clarification. This time she stole some of the groups attention away from Clint's story to him. Natasha's face lit up with concern. The red head had always been like that. Looking out for her boys. Worrying about them. Hell, she'd practically burn this whole town down if anything serious was wrong with him. She couldn't help it. It was a part of her nature to do so. She took care of them more than she took care of herself.

"Yeah." He said, hoping he didn't worry her too much. He was just lost in thought.

"Your unusually quiet this evening." She stated as she ran a hand through his hair. It was comforting even boarder lining something more sensational but he kept those thoughts to himself. He wouldn't place her in a situation because he felt more than what something was.

It was probably innocent to her. Just a comforting touch to a friend but he couldn't help but relish at the idea of her hands just rushing over him. Of all of their hands...and his mind needed to be put in check.

'Bad thoughts! Bad thoughts!' He could hear a slight hissing in his head as any perverse thoughts of them went away. "I'm just...happy that's all. I'm taking in the moment." And it wasn't a lie.

After months of just lying to their faces it felt good to just watch and observe the non change they made. Maybe they all got a little older and a little wiser but that was about it. The rest of the time they were still them. Still the same goofy kids he grew up with.

"Just taking in the moment." She sounded suspicious but that was understandable considering that he did lie to them for a whole month but really wasn't their fault.

He grabbed her hand from on top of his head and rubbed small soothing circles in her palm. She offer him a smile which he gladly returned as they both turned back to Clint's story.

For a while it was orthopedic.

Then he saw a patch of blonde short hair skim it's way through the crowd out of the corner of his eyes. He looked up as the boy approached and through his thinly veiled smile Tony knew that there was something wrong. "Hey guys."

The table was ushered with greetings of some kind which Tony didn't pay attention to because he was too caught up in his own mind. "Ah, Steven! Why don't you claim the seat next to me!" Thor boomed with excitement as he motioned with his hands for the blonde to take a seat.

"Thanks Thor-" but he was soon cut off by Clint standing.

"Actually I'll sit by Thor! Steve you can sit by Tony." The archer announced as he hopped a seat over next to Thor who only gave him a puzzled look.

Surprisingly through Steve didn't look too astonished by this. In fact he look as if he was expecting them to pull some kind of trick on him, so without much prompting the boy sat down, much to Tony's chagrin.

He turned to face Natasha. "Can we switch seats please Nat?" He hoped that she would allow him to have the benefit of doubt but things were never this easy.

"No."

"Natasha..." Bruce urged. He looked as if he'd give up his seat to save Tony from any pain he was feeling.

"No," she repeated. "Until they squash this little dance they've been doing around each other they'll never fix things and that means that we all can't hang out together and I'm not having that go on any longer!" She turned towards them. "You two need to stop this! Your avoiding each other like the plague and ruining any change at a renewed friendship!"

"Yes somethings have changed in both of your lives that make you want to feel in control but you can't. You are not and never are going to be in control of your life." Furious eyes stared him down. "Tony, just because Steve holds someone as close to his heart as us doesn't mean he's replacing us! It just means there was someone there before you who made him feel special. You can't fault Bucky for that."

She then turned towards Steve. "And you! You can't blame Tony for all of the mistakes he's made. He's trying to make them better by being with us. Don't push him away for trying to make it better and you need to put a leash on that little boy toy that follows you around all the time. I tell Tony to keep his insults to himself, now Bucky needs to do the same. If he doesn't, if he says one thing out of line then I'll break every muscle in his jaw."

It was silent to say the least until Clint spoke. "She can really do it."

"Clint...", her voice was dangerously low.

"What? I've seen it happen."

"Do you want me to demonstrate on you?" She asked. The short blonde happily shut up. He did bore an amused grin on his face indicating that his intent of annoying Natasha was complete. A task that didn't come without consequences.

Later, she would hurt him later.

She turned back towards them, her voice calmer than before. "Now boys, I want you to think about everything you two have ever done to actually cause each other physical harm without provoking the other. I'm not talking about insults you've thrown at each other in the past. I'm talking about hands on pain. Physically." As she said that, Tony tried to remember one but couldn't find any.

Natasha smiled. "Exactly. You idiots can't find one. Without provoking one another or conflict you two should be as straight as lambs...so why are you fighting?" She asked as if the answer was the most simplistic thing in the world.

When neither of them gaver her answer she stood up and forced his chair to face Steve. The blonde quickly downcast his eyes filling a mixture of shame and confusion. "Steve look Tony in the eyes and say your sorry." She commanded.

Eventually, though it took a second, the blonde looked back up with furrowed brows and gentle eyes. "I'm sorry Tony." Uhhh, it was like a knife being jetted through him.

That wasn't fair. Steve with his baby blue orbs peering down into his soul, apologizing when he really didn't have to. So sensere, so caring and apologetic! Fuck his life. How is a guy supposed to follow up to that. He might as well get down on his knees and marry the guy. Tony nodded silently and he knew that Natasha's eyes were on him expectantly.

"Tony...do you know what I'm going ask you?" She asked as if she were talking to a child. He felt like a child, hell he was acting like a child.

He tried to be cute.

"What I had for breakfast this morning?" He had hoped that would get him off of her 'In deep shit list'. Oh yeah, they had those too.

An endearing yet frustrated smile grace her lips. "No. I mean do you know what I'm going to ask you to do and before you say anything else stupid, I want you to actually try and do it." She stated.

Tony turned towards Steve and looked at him. It's been a long time since he had but he took him in and observed him like he observed the others. Serenity and calmness was always the blond's outter level but he knew that inside, Steve was going through hurdles just to hear Tony say it.

Tony never had been the one to follow rules. "Well, I guess I gotta marry you now Steve." A prompt smack to the head keep him from hopping out of his seat and kneeling down on one knee. "Okay sheesh. I'm really sorry...for, _everything_ I caused you...to, t-to go through, Steve and if I could take it back..." He said as he slowly shook his head. He was remembering everything bad and dumb he ever did.

"...I would." The was a slight tremble in his voice that he hoped no one catch onto. Tony tried to cover it up by turning his head away from him and staring at the food. "Okay, that's enough emotion for one...day. Let's eat yeah."

If Steve eagerly nodded then Tony didn't comment on it because Steve wouldn't tell a soul that he got the Tony Stark to apologize and cry, on the same day.

"That was beautiful, truly you guys. I shed one tear." Clint said as he pretended to swipe at fake tears, pulling them back to reality. A napkin was thrown his way by Bruce who was just glade everyone was decent. No more fights among friends.

The rest of the time while they were eating it was just mindless blabbing between friends. It felt almost complete.

  


~ • ~

  


"Hey guys can you believe that the dance will be coming up soon?" Bruce asked after things got relatively quiet on the chatter end. Nothing should be sacred between them, everything must be shared.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot about that." Clint said taking a small bite of his food. They had all really had been picking at their food after a while. Not because they were full it's just they didn't want to leave and go back home just to find out that this had all been a dream and that they were really still mad at each other. "Hey Tony...are still taking little miss Pepper Potts to the dance?"

Tony kind of forgot about that too. With everything that's gone on in the past he's been more concerned about getting through to the next day than what's he going to do next week. "Um...yeah I guess. We discussed it at lunch one day and then I never heard from her again so I guess we're still on."

He felt Steve's eyes on him and inwardly groaned. "What is it Steve?" He asked not quite ready for a lecture.

Steve opened his mouth before firmly closing it shut. Maybe it was the way Natasha's eyes zoomed in on him, waiting for him to bring up the past. Maybe he just had something else in mind to say. "Nothing it's just...don't, do anything stupid okay."

"Oooo, look at Mr. Worry Wart, showing his disapproval over Tony having a girlfriend." Clint said in a teasing voice. They all ignored him much to his amusement.

"Anyway, who are you all going with?" Tony asked truly curious. They had all asked about his love interest then he should be able to do the same.

"I'm not going." Natasha replied first taking a bite of her grilled salmon.

"There's a shocker." Clint said as he folded his arms across his chest. He received a french fry to the head. "Come on Nat, you never go with anybody. This is a good time to try something new. You might like it."

"Who would I go with? All the guys at the school are terrified to be within a ten mile radius of me. Besides there aren't that many good looking guys at this school anyway." She stated pointedly.

"I'll go with you Nat." Bruce's voice was so sweet. Gosh how could anyone deny him such a pleasure.

She smiled. "That's sweet Bruce but aren't you taking Betty?"

"No, her father found out that I'd be taking her so he grounded her. She told me to just go with someone else." He seemed disappointed that the poor girl couldn't escape her father's clutches. Yeah parents are assholes like that but you had to give them credit. They sure do know how to protect their kids when they tried.

"What about you Clint? Who's this lucky girl your taking with you this year?" Bruce asked quickly as if he were trying to change the subject.

Although it was good. Tony had been pondering which brod the archer would take with his this time since last time him and his date didn't get along too good. Cops were called and they all had to spend one night in jail because Clint's girlfriend at the time was a psycho.

"Her name is Lanie. She five eight, a hundred and ten pounds, black hair with cream colored skin and chestnut eyes. She's a beauty. We might end up ditching the school though to go finish some unfinished business in my mom's car." The guy bore a devilish grin like you wouldn't believe it. When it came to sex Clint was the one to ask about it.

Tony thinks ninety percent of the things he knew how to do came form listening to Clint tell him how to do it. Ugh and it was the most mind numbing lecture of his life.

"How classic of you?" Natasha reply sarcastically.

"Yeah well didn't you hear Nat, classic is the new cool." The archer replied smoothly.

Tony smiled. It felt like it had been forever since he could just smile truly without finding a whole another reason to. It was genuine at least, not forced or even complicated to do. He stared at them all and found that Thor hadn't joined into the conversation. He was usually the only one of them to keep up on good spirits.

"What about you Thor? Who are you taking?" He asked making everyone remember the the blonde giant was still here.

Thor's head popped up at hearing his name but he didn't answer the question. He was a bit distracted which wasn't all that concerning giving his short attention span. "...I'm deeply sorry friends. What was the question?"

"Tony asked if you were bringing anyone to the dance?" Clint repeated the question. "You were so lost in thought there buddy, it was almost as if we lost you." Clint placed his hand on his tense shoulder.

"Yes, it seems as if bad news is catching up with me. I did not wish to spoil the happy times and wanted to wait until later to explain myself but your all here today...so I don't know when I'll get another chance." He bore a rueful smile that almost seemed troubling to form. "I'm moving."

Clint let out a sigh of relief. "Oh don't scare me like that buddy, I thought you were going to tell us you we're dying or something. How far? Is it like a city or two over because that's not that far-"

"No Clint, I'm moving back to my home country, to be with my mother who is dearly sick. My grandparents informed my father last week of her illness and states that she might not have long so he's talking Loki and I back to see her off."

"Thor that's horrible I'm so sorry." Tony heard Natasha say as she reached across the table to grasp his hand. The blond gladly took it but he didn't seem fully there at the moment. "I wish we could go with you."

"If there's anything you want us to do we'll do it, right guys." That was Steve's voice chipping in at a comforting embrace. Then there was a chourus of yeses uttered. Those two we're always like that; comforting if not smothering the rest of them.

While they were all trying to cheer Thor up Tony was memorizing his face because it was less likely that his father would allow him to come back anytime soon with the loss of his wife. Tony couldn't believe it...all these years thinking that they'd all stay in this shitty town together and one day die in it had filled his mind. It wasn't the most appealing dream but it was one he'd cherished greatly. One he had hoped wouldn't die and fade away like the rest. Somebody had to pop his bubble.

"Right Tony." Natasha's voice pulled him back as his friends all waited for him to answer. He wasn't sure what she just said but he was just going to go with it.

"Right, whatever you need...we're here for you." He looked towards Thor with genuine happiness and what he hoped was a comforting smile. The giant seemed satisfied as nodded his head.

"As for who I'm taking to the dance I have no ideal. I'll go to it since it will be the last one I can but only for you guys." That's the spirit Thor. Tony wanted nothing more than to spend the last few weeks together as friends and leave on better terms than they were now. Maybe they'd all go this year since he was leaving.

"That sounds like a good plan. How about we all go and just go as friends, Tony's already got that covered since his date's father wants to kill him." Clint winked at him before turning towards the red head. "Bruce is going with Nat, Thor is going for the rest of us, I've got Lanie and Steven...who will be your luckily date for the evening?"

Tony held his breath. He had silently hoped that good guy Steve didn't get guilt tripped into taking a date to the prom like last time. A small but noticeable blush graced his features. "Ugh, haha...umm Bucky."

Any hope that Tony may have had just crashed and burned as the ashes were blown away by Clint's whistling. His heart felt like someone was burning it alive and a physical ache began to form in his chest. If he were any less of a man he wwould've clutched his heart right then and there.

"Not everyday you come out as being gay in front of all your friends. You, my compadre, have some serious balls there." Clint raised his galss in a not so subtle fashion. "So like when did you know? Have you always swung that way? Was there ever a time you looked at us and said damn if they weren't my friends I'd seriously tap that?" He kept going one after another after another, relentlessly.

"Clint," Natasha was on the verge of tears as she tried to sound angry. "Shut the fuck up! Can't you see, your embarrassing poor Steve?"

And indeed, Steve was embarrassed. If he was showing a small sliver of pink the boy was a red tomato by the time Clint got done asking him questions. "Just seeing if there's a spark down in that fire. Who knows, maybe I want to heat it up for him?"

If Tony could, he would slap him. Hard. The rest of their little rag tag group seemed roll their eyes at his antics. "God, I don't think you even know what you just said." Natasha said as she sat back shaking her head.

Then the fucker had the nerve to follow it up with this. "I know what I said Nat, I always know what I say and what I say, I mean." His eyes dared anyone to challenge him on that. It was a road they weren't willing to follow him down. Least their friendship be damned.

"Anyway, Thor I want your to know that your not the only only who's leaving." Clint quickly changed the subject, which they were all silently grateful for. "I too, am leaving but not as soon as you."

Was that supposed to make Thor feel better?

"What?" Bruce was the first of them to speak. Hopefully he was bullshitting them like he usual did.

"You asshole...when were you going to tell us this?" Natasha stated furiously.

"I told you now, doesn't that count. Beside Thor went a whole week without telling us anything about leaving." Clint said trying to pass the blame on the poor blonde.

"One, Thor wanted to wait until we were all together to tell us and two, his mother is sick. He needed time to cope with that. You on the other hand are a selfish dick!" The girl was clearly unpleased by his current statements.

"Nat..." The boy said softly once he realised that she wasn't joking. "It's only for year. After I finish high school I'm going to take a break to go traveling with Lanie. I was going to tell you all...promise."

"Well since we're all getting our secrets out in the open I'm leaving with my aunt next year. She's going to help me deal with the whole grandfather thing and I probably won't ever see you guys again. Some kind of " special training" and whatnot." She said while folding her arms over her chest.

"Your leaving too, Jesus Christ!" Tony couldn't believe it. All this time they were bidding their time on telling him this, he didn't even know. He didn't have time to prepare himself.

Clint smirked. "Your giving me shit about not telling you what my plans are and yet here you are telling us that your leaving as well. That's like the kettle calling the pot black."

It was silent to say the least. They all had retreated back to their own spaces. Awkward but Tony refused to let them all slip back into their quiet states. They probably wouldn't eat the food right now, he didn't even know why they bothered to try to eat here.

"What about you Bruce? Are you leaving also?"

"Uhm no actually...I'm planning on finishing out high school here. Then I'm well, leaving to New York where I've been excepted by-..." Bruce didn't finish because Tony didn't let him.

"So yes."

"...Tony...I-"

He turned away from the boy before staring down at his plate. "Steve...where are you going?" He didn't need to ask if the blonde was leaving because he already knew the answer.

A soft sigh could be heard before he spoke. "I'm going into the army with Bucky. He wanted to go by himself but I couldn't allow that so I pleaded with him to wait until I finished high school and we would go together. With everything happing now a days, I don't want him to go alone."

The first emotion that Tony felt was anger. Anger that Steve would wait this long to tell them, that they all would and the fact that he was going to be going someplace dangerous by himself with James. The second emotion that he felt was jealously. How could James of all people win over Steve. He deserved so much more than someone who may or may not make it back alive.

He didn't want Steve to leave. He didn't want any of them to leave but it would be selfish to ask them not to especially when they were doing this to help themselves get better, do right by someone or do greatness in life. Tony hated how needy he had become. Reliant on five people who have hurt him more than he could ever hurt himself.

They weren't just people to him though. They were more. He felt his insides churn and weaken every time they saw him. How genuinely happy they were to be invested in him. To put time and effort on making him a better person. Tony hated that he wasted so much time just taking in their love and care for him advantage when he could've been happy just showing them how much they meant to him.

Maybe if he did, all of this stuff wouldn't have happened. Steve would've been with him instead of Bucky. He would've fought an army for him because he loved him not because of his loyalties as a friend made him do it. Be would've been Tony's first and not Obadiah in some abandoned house.

Tony wasn't sure what make him want Steve but he couldn't just have the boy, he had to have them all, he wanted them all. Clint was the one silently putting stuff in his head making him want thing he didn't deserve to have. Clint always did that, show him his options and waited until he made the decision. Did he wait too long though?

He asked Steve if the option was open but it sounded as if he was asking them all.

Yeah he could imagine having all of them with him. Especially now that the clock was ticking and a certain gentle giant was going away soon. Thor the one who picked him up off the park bench and snuck him into his house at odd hours in the day then asked no questions. He was like that, constantly coming to his aid without so much as a doubt in his mind.

God his hormones were raging. He could only imagine what it would be like with Thor. Being taken care of and taken all the same. He would that so many time to Bruce who was too sweet and innocent to just be stood up by some brod at the university. He'd be gentle, using whatever advice Clint gave him to rock the poor boy's world. It would be sweet and yet exciting at the same time making Bruce want more.

Last but not least, Natasha who was the very embodiment of sexy was also his rock and steadied him most of his life. She would be treated nothing further than from a queen by him. He'd give everything she wanted and wish and the only thing she'd have to do was call him out on his bullshit and pull him back when he went too far. That in itself was asking too much.

But that was then and this is now. He can't have that future, not when they had worked so hard to work for what they did, to get to the point where they can truly be happy and Tony wasn't going to be the one to take that away. No matter how much it hurt.

So with the best smile he could muster he looked towards Steve and smiled. "I happy for you Steve, honestly." He felt as if he sold his soul to the devil uttering those words.

The blonde seemed shocked at his statement as it was evident in his features. "Thank you Tony." And he received a smile on his part.

"What about you Tony, any secrets to tell?" Clint asked. He still wanted him to tell them about Obadiah.

"You all already know my secrets Clint. I have nothing to tell further more nothing to hide." He knew that they knew and they should've known that he would never truly tell them what happened to him. They could only confirm with what they saw.

Without a second of hesitation he felt the body of Bruce Banner attach himself to him. He felt engulfed in the hug provided but he didn't turn away, he didn't reciprocate it either. They were long past that point.

"I'm so sorry Tony..." He heard him whisper in his ear.

"Don't be. You'll be okay and I'll be okay. Then when the time comes we'll get help, because that all we need is help." He breath came out as pitchy on the last part he chose to believe that they ignored it, that they didn't surround him to hold him close to their bodies to comfort him. That they were also equally benefiting from this.

He chose to believe that and more.

If he was silently crying they didn't mention it and if he felt Steve grip his hand tighter than before he held on to that feeling because it had been a while since they actually touched, normally. If Natasha's hand running through his hair didn't calm him down then Thor's hand rubbing smooth circles on his leg did. If Clint's comforting grip on his shoulder didn't make him feel wanted then Bruce's kiss press to his lower jaw did the trick.

It was something they all wanted, he realised, but knew they could never have.

They may or may not have received looks but they care and slowly, as each one of them moved away he felt as if he'd just died right then and there. They were back to silence only this time it was the good kind the only sound being made was a phone that was ringing on the table. A small murmur of laughs could be heard a Steve embarrassingly grabbed it and and uttered a thousand of apologies.

He took it and moved away from the table. "I don't know about you guys but I don't think I'm that hungry right now." Tony said as he took in each and everyone of their faces.

"We can go back to my place and hang out for a couple of hours maybe spend a night, see where it takes us from there..." Clint's tone was suggestive but they all knew the answer.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Thor spoke quietly. It was odd for the guy to say it in such hush hush tone when he could be louder then this whole restaurant if he wanted. They all silently agreeded as they gathered their stuff to leave.

Clint walked over towards him and placed his around his shoulder's with his head pressing against his. Tony felt the boy's breath seep hotly into his ear. "Are your paying for dinner because I left my wallet at home?" Was he trying to seduce him because it was working? Quickly he felt the archer being yanked away as Natasha replaced him.

"Shut up you dick...don't worry Tony, we've already paid for it before you got here." As she said this she moved his arm around her waist and he pulled her closer.

Behind them Thor hung his arms around Clint and Bruce's shoulder's to which he heard a round of complaints come from the two. "Ahh,Thor your too heavy, I can't carry you..." Bruce stated struggling under the blonde's weight.

"Move your arm fatass...are you trying to break us?" At Clint's outburst Thor bursted out with laughter.

As they started to head out the door a scared Steve came back towards them. His eyes were filled with worry as he tried to composed himself. "Steve...what's wrong?"

"Bucky's been in an accident..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me on that last part: IT'S THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!!


	2. Lifes Way Of Kicking You Where The Sun Don't Shine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Life has a funny way of keeping things in balance. Like yin and yang, there cannot be life without death. In Tony's mind that's exactly how it feels. To save his life...someone had to pay a price.

The sirens surged in his ears making him feel like he was being stabbed in them. Steve took long strides towards the crowd that surrounded the scene with the rest of his friends following shortly behind him. Tony could barely see a few feet in font of him and through all the chaos he was surprised that they managed to all stay together.

The guy pushed pass people like a chicken without it's head making it easier for them to slip by. It didn't take them long to reach they center of the wreck where news reporters filmed the area. Officers kept them at bay while the rest dealt with the damage done.

Tony watched as blue eyes scanned the scene in front of them which a tow truck was pulling another vehicle from the wreckage of the silver porch it smashed into. A little ways over was an a couple of ambulances which one housed none other than James Barnes himself. To his right Tony could hear Steve let out a sigh of relief much to his dismay.

"Bucky!" The boy called out to his "love" and Tony realised how much he didn't want to be here. Immediately Metal Mouth walked over towards them, at first happy before he promptly stopped and downcast his eyes. "Bucky what's wrong?"

It felt like an eternity before he finally reached them, eyes still downcast. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? What happened?" Steve fired off his questions, tempting to check every bruise or broken bone that his friend maybe harboring.

"I'm fine..." It was a simply short response that none of them were expecting.

"Are you sure man because that looks like one hell of a car crash? Is everyone alright?" Clint asked as he stepped forward to get a better look. It didn't look as if anyone in the second car survived. Currently the firefighters were doing the Jaws of Life to see how the others passengers were doing.

"Yeah, umm...my father decided to, drop by uninvited and I told of my plans to join the army. He wanted to have a drink with me to congragulate me on my choice. He got realy drunk and...and wanted to drive. I tried to stop him but he said that he could handle himself. I thought if I was with him, it would be better but...I was wrong." Bucky peered up at them all as his eyes landed on Tony.

A sorrowful expression graced his features. "I'm so sorry Stark..." It was the second time he heard that today but why was asshole sorry? Tony frowned, deeply before his eye connected with the second car.

As the crushed driver's door was operated open, he could see a hand drop loosely to the size of the body. The hand had a platinum watch attached to it, a specific kind of watch that only a certain few people could have. It looked a lot like the kind his dad would ware...

Sliver porch, platinum watch, James being sorry... Either he didn't want to register it, because it hit him like a ouch in the gut, or he just really was slow with processing the fact that James's father just killed his parents.

"No." It was the only thing he could manage as he looked from James to the car. It was a bad dream. This wasn't real. An hour ago he was sitting with his friends having a good time, talking about the good old days. Before that, his parents dropped him off at the restaurant that his friends wanted him to attend and even before all of that he was at his house, talking, pleading with them about going.

That wasn't that long ago. He just saw them driving away back towards the house. They were alive and well and smiling... He couldn't breathe. He felt as if he was being suffocated. This wasn't happening. This couldn't keep happening. Every time he thought things were getting better they just got worse.

"I'm sorry... " Again James apologized but Tony couldn't hear him.

"No..." A hand was placed on his shoulder. He didn't know who's nor did he care. He just wanted to leave, to go. "No, this isn't happening. I just saw-..." He cut himself off by biting his hand.

"Tony."

He stared blankly in front of him. Everything was blurry. Sirens flared. Noises were made. Apologies utter over and over and he just wanted it to stop. He wanted all the noise to go away. People to just stop apologizing. Everyone needed to go away. They needed to stop touching him.

He just turned around and walked away. He heard his name being called but he couldn't stop. He wouldn't, not when if he turned around then he'd breakdown. He wouldn't be able to stop crying even if he woke up and all of this was a dream.

"Tony!" Someone shouted it. He kept going.

Footsteps rushed towards his side and someone turned him around. It was Clint, surprisingly. He was talking but Tony couldn't hear him. "Go away." Whatever it was, he didn't want to hear it.

"What?"

"Go. Away." He said it clearer in case the archer didn't hear him the first time.

"We're not going to leave you alone! Not right now...not when-"

"Don't. Don't say it! If you say it then it makes it real." He shook his head. "And right now, I can't take reality." He didn't know what else to say so he just left. Left all of his friends standing there in shock and not sure what to do.

"I'm sorry..." James uttered helplessly. He heard guilt in his voice but Tony didn't care. He just didn't.

"Bucky...just go." Steve said as he motioned with his eyes for the boy to get in the ambulance with his father. James, as if he wanted to say more but decided against it, hopped inside the vehicle.

Why was this happening to him? He was a good kid...ish. He didn't do drugs, sex and violence. He wasn't the kind that took things for granted. He got superb grades in school. He tried so why did they get taken away. He could understand Obadiah, he felt like he deserved that one but killing his parents. It's that overkill in some books.

Why him?

Why not him right?

Hell someone's got to pay for everything.

  


~ • ~

  


Tony's not sure how he got home, he's not even sure how he got into bed but he knew one thing only. Life was never going to be the same for him. His parents were gone, his chances of pulling out of this were slim, he had no ideal what to do but all he wanted to do right now was just lay in his bed and pray to whoever was listening to just end him.

He didn't understand. They were just alive. He just saw them. They were getting better...they were trying. Why did that assholes dad have to be behind the wheel of the car at the same time that his parents were driving. It was as if the universe wanted him to hate Bucky.

Why did shit always have to hit the fan with him. Tony curled over on his side not wanting to think about it anymore. He didn't want to feel anything, hell he couldn't right now. He felt as if life was cutting off any chance of air that his hungry lungs craved. The boy felt like he was slowly spiralling into a darkness that he couldn't escape.

They were truly gone, truly gone. He wouldn't hear his father's voice again or see his mother's drug indused form. He'd let them stay as a damage disfunctional family if that mean that he could still see them. Tony would take every beating, fight every battle on his own if that meant he could see his parents again. It wasn't worth their lives, getting him help, honestly it wasn't.

He just wanted to see them again.

His brain surged as if to find a memory that suited him enough to allow him sleep. He couldn't sleep. He felt too dead to sleep. His arms and legs were numb at his sides as he tried but failed to sit up.

He needed to be brought back to life. He needed to be handled; whether it was roughly or gentle, he didn't care. All he wanted was to feel something other than sorrow. He didn't think he could feel anything anymore. He was tried of crying. Tired of feeling bad for himself. He was mostly tired of wanting to be close to someone only to have them ripped apart from him.

Like his friends, he wanted them. He wanted them to hold him. He wanted to feel each and every part of them just refusing to let him go, just them promising something he knows they can't keep. He wanted that and more. Heknew he ccouldn't have it but he had hoped.

What was the point? They would all be leaving this place soon, right after high school in fact. Thor was going back to his homeland with his father and brother to be with his mother who was sick. Tony couldn't ask him to stay just because he lost his mother, that would be cruel.

Clint decided he wanted to just travel around the world before he went to collage with his new girlfriend. She had family in Paris that she wanted to see and introduce them to her playboy of a boyfriend. Tony refused to let the archer choose between him and his girlfriend or maybe he was just afraid of rejection.

Bruce, baby Brucie...their innocent pet. His best friend. The one who could understand him on the most basic levels without trying. Bruce knew when to pursue a dangerous topic and he knew when to back off. Tony didn't know what he was going to do without him now that the boy got excepted to a college across the states from where he wanted to go.

Natasha. Tony wasn't even sure he'd be here without her. He fiery attitude and quick wit nature, at the same time she had a borderline possessive behavior and take no bullshit from others personality. He's relied on her more times then he could count but apparently she has an aunt in Vermont who would gladly take care of her. She could've stayed with Tony and they could be orphans together but he was sure she didn't want to stand by and watch him kill himself slowly.

That left only Steve who just practically told him to shove whatever feelings he may or may not have possessed up his ass because he was joining the military with Bucky, who was going to wait until Steve finished high school to go together. Yeah, Tony's pretty sure that they're still going to go even after the whole accident. What a way to say fuck you formally form Steve Rogers everyone.

Life was a bitch.

So now he was going to be left alone, to spend the rest of his days wondering this house until he eventually killed himself. Why wait? He could just do it tonight. No he wanted to go out in a bitching way without feeling the full extent of the consequences. He wanted his friends to remember the screw up they a knew and he wanted them to remember his name.

Tony stood up and walked down into his parents room. It was dark but kept clean from this morning he could still smell her perfume that she wore this morning. Talking a couple long strides into the bathroom was harder than expected. He really didn't want to breakdown and cry again but he needed no wanted to burned. He need to feel something...and quickly or else he'd wouldn't be able to accomplish anything.

He opened his parents bathroom mirror and wished that his mother didn't quiet get rid of all her pills. They were scattered along the bathroom right next to a back. She looked as if she was in the amidst of getting rid of them all the more reason for Tony to want to forget she tried to be good, that she wanted to get help.

Without really reading any of the labels, he skimmed through the bottles and took any and all pills that would most definitely get him high and quick. He gathered them all up and placed them in a singular bottle. He picked out four, randomly and swallowed them without a seconds thought before preceding down the steps and out the door of him home. Not home, house.

He felt conflicted as he scrounge the darkened alleyways for anyone or someone. He wanted to make his parents happy by running his father's company and making his name for himself. It didn't now though. Nothing matter to him. He just wanted out.

He walked to wherever his feet took him and prayed that they didn't take him to his friend's house. He's done enough damage to them. Acting like a petulant child when they were only trying to help. Could you blame him if he didn't want it though? He should want it but maybe he just wasn't good enough for it, maybe he wasn't ready.

He was surprised when he walked back over to those abandoned houses that Obadiah first took him in. He felt cold and distant as the very same house that he was raped in would be renovated into a nice home fore some random family. How fucked up was that? Would they even know that he begged for someone to help him as they carried their furniture across the threshold?

It was like something breaking inside of him as he could hear his screams of agony, like he was still trapped inside. He closed his eyes and tried to envision something else but his terrified voice echoed in his head. He could still feel the thrusting of Obadiah's hips as they connected to his rare. He could feel the man's hot breath as if he was still breathing down his neck. The man's grunts and moans of pleasures as he released himself into Tony. The boy was physically shaking now.

It was almost was as if he was looking on the outside in, unable to save himself from his torment. His legs felt wobbly as he moved forward towards the building. Without so much as thinking he grabbed the nearest rock and chucked it through the glass window that used to be border up. He gathered a whole pile of them in his hand and threw them at the building as if that would save him.

Tony felt tears swell in his eyes as he could viable see himself just laying there and taking it. Another scream emitted from his mind as he rushed over towards the door and kicked it. "Shut up!" He shouted loudly. In his drug induced state he flilung his balled up fist into the boarded up door and angrily yelled at someone who wasn't there.

He kept punching the wooden frame until his fist went straight through. He yanked it out without so much as a second thought and looked down at his fist. Blood started to oose from the wounds there.

Yet internally, Tony didn't care.

He kept walking and walking, furthering himself far from anywhere near resemblance. It was getting dark now and he knew it. He was far from home in a place where he hardly recognize. He was purposely putting himself in danger and he knew it. If someone tried to mug him right now he wouldn't scream for help. What's the worst they could do, violate him some more? It couldn't be any worst from what Obadiah did to him.

He rounded some random corner and spotted a couple of guys just standing around look oddly suspicious. Tony, not caring walked over towards them. They all eyed his cautiously as he stood unsteady on his feet. His mind didn't seem to function the looks of hostility that passed over them.

"The fuck you want kid?" One of them asked, he was sporting a scar underneath his neck right next to a tattoo that read 'killer', how original. The boy inwardly thought as he tried not to throw up.

"I was...w-wondering if I could purchase a weapon off of you." He stated shakily. The pills were kicking in making him feel lighter than air. His vision was somewhat blurry but that didn't deter him from his mission. "Preferably a gun. I don't care what type of gun it was but as long as it gets the job done." He slurred that last part.

"A gun, what you need a gun for?" Another asked but Tony paid less attention to him than he did the first one.

"I need it for something that doesn't concern you." His breath came out haggard and uneven as he eventually fell to his knees. "Just give it to me so I can be on my way, please. I've got them money for it."

He officially zoned out as their faces transformed from bewildered to offended in a second. The one with a tattoo gripped the front of his shirt to haul him to his feet and for once, the inventor hoped that the guy punched him senseless. He received a harsh jab in the stomach but that was about it. Then he felt himself get knocked back into a wired fence. The clanging and rattling of it made him sick.

"You little bitch, you think we're just gonna give you a gun so your lil' punk ass can nark. Oh no," he chuckled as if he had said something funny. "You wanna gun? You got to earn it and we don't want your money!" He gripped Tony's head hard and forced it down.

There was a growing bulge in his pants and the boy realized what he meant by earn it. It made him sick to his stomach and bring forth a strength that he didn't know he possessed. His breathing sky rocketed as he wrapped his arms around the other man and knocked him on his ass. Fear, anger, hate, jealousy and more, so much more rose to his face as he pushed himself backup and climbed on top of the man.

Once again he put his fist to good use and started to pumble the body uunderneath him. He just kept going. It didn't even matter if the guys friends fought with him to get the boy off. Tony didn't let up by they did, and hoped he stopped. With a battle cry he pushed forth the last bits of his energy into his punches. Images of the last few months passed by.

Steve punching him in the stomach and them swearing off their friendship. Him going with Obadiah. Being raped. Crying in his father's arms and being held like he mattered. Kissing Bruce and Bruce kissing back. Fighting Natasha's creepy grandfather. Being in the ally. Getting jacked off by Steve, wanting to kiss Steve. Leaving, regretting leaving. Talking to his parents. Them finally understanding. Hanging out with the guys. Being told it was going to be alright when it wasn't. Finding out that Bucky's drunken dad killed his parents.

With every knew thought came an even closer understanding. This all started with Bucky when he came back. Steve hating him, their friendship being ruined. If he hasn't come back then Steve and he would've still been friends. He wouldn't have been in that stupid ally with Obadiah. He wouldn't of been...he would've been fine.

His parents wouldn't have gotten killed if the boy hadn't come back. None of this would've happened! Because of Bucky's dad, his parents are dead because the boy came back. He ruined everything! His mind raced. Newly fueled anger overtook him as he looked over the others standing around him.

They all looked terrified. 'Not so fucking tough now?' He thought inwardly as he stood. He was still light on his feet. His phone rang causing everyone to jump. Tony reached into his pocket and walked away from the group to answer it in private. "What?" He asked irritated.

The number was unknown and he knew all of the others numbers so for him to get a random phone call at this time of night. A worried voice came through. "Tony?" Pepper's voice shook as she spoke. "Are you alright? I heard what happened to your parents. Everyone's so worried about you."

He rolled his eyes at said people and knew that they didn't really care if he was alright. He wasn't named the Stark inherent for nothing right. "I'm fine Pepper." He stated trying to keep the anger out of his voice. He could snap on anyone else but not Pepper. The girl hadn't warranted such treatment.

A sigh of relief escaped her. "Are you sure because you don't sound okay?You sound frustrated, almost angry and I get why you are but...look if you ever need someone to talk to I'm here." There was a pause. "I know what it feels like to loose a parent." Indeed she had known. She lost her mother around the time they were dating. All the more reason he felt like a dick for dumping her.

Some of the anger dropped out of his voice as he too sighed. "I know Pepper and thank you." He stated before she started crying. He decided to change the subject before things got too heavy. "Are we still on for the dance? I think I could really use a change of scenery."

" Tony, I don't think that suck a good idea. You need time to grieve and it takes a long time to...accept something like this. Going to a party when your parents just died isn't a healthy way to cope. In fact, even if you did show up it would only make everyone assume that you're in denial." Oh he wasn't in denial. He knew his parents were dead. He just didn't want to think about it. Not when things were going so well.

And since when did anything he did could be considered healthy.

Fuck! His mind scrambled. He was pining after his best friends, he lost his parents, he had any unhealthy, one-sided 'relationship' with an older man (could it be considered a relationship or was that just sex? No sex is when both parties consent, he wouldn't dare even liable that as consent) and to top it all off it was all because of Steve's next friends dad. He was going to fucking pay. Tony mentally knew he would make sure of it.

All that anger he tried to tone down had risen up. He turned towards the gang of guys surrounding their unconscious friend and scowled. "I'm not in denial Pep, if I could I would change places with my parents but I can't. I can't change the past or fix any of this shit but I can try to forget my life doesn't fucking suck for an hour, now if you please!" He shouted as he ended the call.

It was rude but he didn't care. All thought on how to do this had been erased as he marched over to the group of fuckwads. "I'll be needing that gun. If I don't get it by the end of this week I will hunt each and everyone of you down and destroy you single handedly!" As he shouted they all flinched.

Tony didn't recognize the own tone of his voice. He was too pissed to care. He gave them the exact date, time and location he'd be coming back for the weapon and then marched off. Anger was spiralling through him. Once again his feet took him to places he didn't recognize or care about. All he knew is one thing. In a week he would have single handedly done the two things that he wanted to do since that start of this: one, take out Bucky and two, ruin his reputation.

What was if they called it...dead man walking.


	3. Dead Man Walking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is tired of feeling so useless and decides to take matters into his own hands. He was tried of just winging it and now has a date and time for when he ends it all. Too bad the people he loves the most are caught in the cross fires.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...what can I say. I've been busy and I couldn't quite find a suitable ending for this one. It was hard just posting the last one which I wish I could expand more of.
> 
> P.S. - If you all haven't seen Heathers the play and you don't know the song Dead Girl Walking then I highly recommend it. I kind of based this off of that except it's the reprise one that it's really based off of. Lols.

His life was fucked. Who didn't know that? Why was he surprised that things took a turn for the worst when his parents tried to help him? Everything and everyone Tony touched burned. Why didn't anyone know that by now?

It had been too good to be true. His parents recognised that they had a son and that what they we're doing or, what they weren't doing, was possibly affecting him. They had another human being to care and worry for. It didn't come much as a shock to him as it did everyone else but Tony didn't always mean what he said.

You just had to read in between the lines.

He hadn't actually wished harm to come to his parents, just that they'd notice him. Now that they did, death came to take them. You reap what you sow huh? He would rather them being alive and ignoring him than dead and loving him. He would rather be used by Obadiah over and over again and for them to blame it all of him than loose his parents.

Hey, when they were actually acting like parents it was nice to have them around.

It had been publicly reported that his parents were dead now and he has since been non stop stocked by reporters. They would come to his house, knock on his door begging for interviews on how he felt and what he was going to do with his inherence. They wanted answers and he wanted them to all go fuck themselves.

For the next couple of days he stayed inside his house, high as a kite, ignoring the reporters knocks. He didn't answer them just like he didn't answer his phone which was ringing non stop since his parents deaths. Some were from local new stations begging for him to come in, so they could interview him first, to get his side of the story. It was all utter bullshit. One interview from him and they'd have everyone who cared listening in on them.

Most calls that he didn't answer were from the gang. Natasha's called him everyday since he ran off. She's already left his voicemail full on both the house phone and his own and that wasn't counting the other's calls. Occasionally he'll hear them knocking on the front door pleading with him to let them in. He never did, as much as he wanted to. He couldn't.

He couldn't bare the thought of seeing their disappointed looks as they realized he'd been drugging himself every night just to get some sleep. That he'd wake up crying for them and his parents only to realize that neither were there. That he'd curse his parents for not being there even when it wasn't their fault. That he still saw Obadiah every time he closed his eyes or when the reporters left him alone for a while; when the silence was killing him. He'd felt the man on top of him, doing things to his prone form.

He'd wake up in a cold sweat, drenched. His body wouldn't stop shaking and he couldn't tell if it was because of the drugs or his mind fucking with him. He'd be too wound up to go back to sleep afterwards.

And sometimes, he'd bee so tempted to text them, call them back just for them to tell him everything would be alright, that he couldn't stop what happened, that it wasn't his fault.

_It was!_

He knew it was. He was the one who asked them to take him to the restaurant, to drive him. He could've walked. It would've been easier than this. Nothing practically. As shown that day, that night, he could take care of himself. He could fight back. Win even.

He was just too afraid of walking down the street and seeing a car pull up to him. Of seeing Obadiah, of the man dragging him down a dark alley taking him for everything he had left. But he would've taken that. Would gladly let the man do anything and everything he wanted to him if his parents could live. Was that it? Was it because he couldn't take it, was it because he was that weak?

He didn't deserve them. He deserved to be left alone. It was his fault that he went with Obadiah. He chose that, to be weak. He allowed the man to do whatever he wanted to him. He...Tony Stark, wanted it, right?

Tony shook his head as he laid in his bed. His body felt weak. He hadn't eaten anything since the crash and now his body was going to crash. His therapist had been knocking on his door for the past hour. She claimed she could help him feel better, that talking with her would help. He didn't believe her. She said that it was what his parents wanted for him. He still didn't believe her.

His parents were dead.

The woman called. He didn't answer. She texted. He didn't respond. She knocked. He didn't acknowledge it. It wasn't until he let the recordings play that he actually listened to her.

_Mister Stark, it's me. Joanne Harper. I would insist on you attending the sessions your mother and father scheduled for you. I believed it can help. You're not well, Tony...your friends are worried for you. They believe that you're harming yourself or are in the admist of harming yourself. They wish to help but I advised them that they cannot if you've lock yourself away from the world. Please, if you are harming yourself or think about harming yourself, come to me. I want to help, your friends want to help. They love you, as did your parents. Don't disappoint them by giving up. They wouldn't want this for you._

By the end of it Tony was conflicted. He didn't want to disappoint anyone else. He wanted them to be proud of him. None of his friends deserved to be locked out of his life, what's left of it anyway. They meant more to him than anything.

The next voicemail message to play was Steve's. He sounded confused and a little torn about what to say himself. It was cute to say the least, hearing the blonde stutter on his words until he finally came to an agreement to himself. Tony hung onto every single word.

_I know I hurt you Tony...and that there are somethings that can't be fixed with a couple of words but, look I know you hang onto every word I say. That secretly inside you do listen to my lectures about being safe and how finding an enemy in a friend is way easier than finding a friend in an enemy. At least, I hope you do. I care about you Tony. I really do and I don't, I don't want to barge in one day to find you dead. None of the guys would either. It would kill them-us._

There was a pause before Steve continued.

_Please don't give up on us. If we have to, we'll go to every session with you, hell I'll hold your hand if you need me to but please...don't do whatever it is your mind is thinking. I can't excuse Bucky's dad's behavior and I won't say it isn't his fault. He's serving his time. He regrets everything. I'm not asking you to forgive him, just don't take it out on Bucky._

His tone took a turn for the lighter and Tony could hear the tremble in his voice.

_You more than anyone can attest to one bad decision changing your life and the lives of others around you, forever._

There was a deep sigh.

_I'm sorry things are shit in your life right now. I'm sorry that I blamed you for everything Obadiah did to you. It wasn't your fault. None of what happened was your fault. So you can't look around for reasons to blame yourself._

_I wish I was a better friend. That, that stupid day could've gone better. That I had better restraint. That I could see...Natasha told me how you felt, about me. She explained to me how much of an idiot I was not to notice. Her, Bruce, Clint, Thor. They all saw it. I guess, I did too but I didn't want to ruin what we had. You're my best friend. I couldn't hurt you like that. I, wish I could say that I feel the same but I don't. I do love you, though. Never forget that. I'm sorry._

In that moment Tony didn't think he could feel anymore hollow. It was everything he wanted. Steve acknowledging his feelings and maybe, possibly returning them. He wanted right there to end the recording.

Anger was not the only expression he was feeling. Pain, sorrow, hurt. He'd felt that for the last couple of weeks, months, his whole life. To hear Steve reject him hurt.

_I know this isn't the best of times with everything that's going on but Bucky wanted to apologize for his father and how he treated you. Again, I'm not asking you to forgive him for his behavior and I know I'm the last one who should be asking you for this favor. I'm just asking for you to give him a chance._

Tears fell down Tony's cheeks. He didn't want to hear what the jackass wanted to say. He didn't care. Whatever he had to say would just make him angrier but like a lovesick puppy he listened to Steve and stayed on the line.

_...Stark, Tony. I didn't know what to do. I'm sorry. He was so persistent and he never listens to me. I tried, I tried to stop him. We were rounding the corner and he couldn't see...we just rammed into them. My dad placed his hand out to protect me while I yanked on the wheel to swerve out of their way but it was too late. Fuck! I'm sorry. I wish I'd just knocked his drunk ass out._

He was sorry? He was sorry! Tony was fucking sorry he was listening to this shit. His parents were dead, not coming back, gonzos. Bucky still had both his mom and his dad. That sorry didn't amount to shit in his book.

Not wanting to listen to anymore of it Tony shut off his phone and sat up. Tonight was the night of the dance. He promised himself he'd make that son of a bitch pay. Afterwards he'd enjoy a nice helping of lead himself. Funny how all their talks about not killing himself resulted in him wanting to kill himself.

Tony got off his bed and popped open the bottle of pills he took from his mother's cabinet. No reason to catch feelings while doing this. To think that he actually thought Steve could love someone like him. He was an asshole in Steve's eyes, someone not worth the time. The only reason the guy put up with him so long was because of their shared group of friends.

Who would've wanted Tony, especially like this?

The rueful smile that graced his lips was sad and disturbed. He looked at the mirror at his reflection. Sulking, dark, puffy, tired eyes stared back at him. His hollowed cheeks were a reminder that he was seriously ill. He wasn't dressed to impress, just for show. If he saw himself on the street, he would think he was just a depressed, brooding teenager.

Perfect.

Gathering up his thing for the rest of his last night Tony smiled one final time before existing out the door. Dead Man Walking...

 

~ • ~

 

The cold air took a bitter bite out of his exposed flesh as he stood outside of convenient store. This is the spot that he told those thugs to meet him at. It was out in the open and in a place where he knew they wouldn't just shoot him themselves once they received payment. Beating up a possible gang member wasn't the smartest plan in the world on his end.

Biting his lips out of nervousness, Tony glanced around the place to see if he could spot them. Sure enough there they we're pulling up to the place with their music blasting. He wished they didn't draw too much attention to themselves.

He leaned against the wall of the building, waiting. At first they didn't get out. It made him frown as he waited for them to make their way over towards him. He growled impatiently as they continued to sit in their car.

What the hell were they doing?

It was fucking freezing out here. It took a minute before Tony realized that they were searching the area in case there were cops out. They still believed he was a nark, how annoying.

Slowly and cautiously the guys got out of their cars and made their way over towards him. One of them was the guy with the scar, the boy had the pleasure of beating the shit out of him. His eye was still swollen shut but other than that he looked fine. The guy tried to make him give the disgusting thug a blow job so a swollen eye was fair.

As the pair reached him, they stood back as to not appear too threatening towards him. They were still afraid. Tony didn't know whether to count that as a victory or not.

"You have what I asked for?" The young inventor asked as he tried to hide the shivers he was suppressing from the cold. The light jacket he took with him wasn't helping with shit.

The one with the scar looked away from him, still surveying the area. "You ain't gonna apologize for this?" He asked in a accusing tone. His hand came up to swipe under his eye.

"Are you going to apologize for trying to make me give you a blow job?" Tony fired back ruthlessly. He was not in the mood to play, he would beat the shit out of the man again if he had to.

"Fair enough." The man spit.

Tony nodded to the silent one who looked no older than Tony's age himself. He was slightly shaking and from what the boy could remember, he was there as well when Mr. Tough guy got his ass handed to him.

The silent one shakingly handed him a brown bag containing the 9mm handgun he asked for. His father had taught him how to use it because he was sure Tony would try to play with it one day. "Here," he handed the boy a small wad of cash. "Your recruiting them kind of young aren't you?"

That made scar face frown. "This is my little brother."

"Do you always bring your brother on these trips with your customers?" Tony asked tiredly. He didn't know why he asked. It was none of his business but he guess it was a way to strike up a conversation. His last one of few.

"No, I'm baby sitting him tonight." That caused them both to frown. Now that he was somewhat out of his drugged filled haze, he got a better look at the man. He couldn't be any old than Tony himself. Maybe college level. After that the boy didn't feel as talkative. "Why do you need this gun anyway, kid? You look like you've had the good life...you tryin' to kill yourself or something?" He laughed, then he stopped.

Tony just stared him directly in his eye, not uttering a word. Before the man could protest or take the gun back he changed the subject. "I need you to do me one last favor. Then you can leave."

"Now hold on, I ain't giving no gun to a kid just so he can kill-" Tony's glare cut him off. The guy turned to send his brother off and back into the car before he turned towards him. "What do you need?"

"The gun's not for me!" He didn't know why he need to tell him that. Simply the older boy nodded. "I need a bottle of alcohol...please and I'm sorry about the eye." Whether he took that into consideration, Tony didn't know. He just watched as scar face went inside to buy a bottle for him.

As he stood there in the silence, the young inventor thought about what he was doing to make sure he was ready. He had nothing to live for, he really didn't. In a year or two all his friends would be gone so what was the point?

A van pulled up to the store, parking right along side scar face's vehicle. A man hopped out of the passenger's side with a small smile on his mouth. He looked around his late twenties as he marched over towards the back of the van. The doors popped open and a girl hopped out. She had on a tight, everything and was giving the guy a hungry look as she practically yanked him towards her body.

Her eyes scanned up and down his body as if waiting for some kind of response when he uttered something to her and gently pried her hands from his everything. The guy offered her a gentle smile and a kiss to her hand before parting ways with her to walk inside the store. As he was making his way to the entrance the man offered a small smile to Tony who frowned and looked away. Out of the corner of his eyes he studied the man. No fashion sense but kind of reminded him of a young college professors with that brown leather jacket. The man was more of a hippie that a professor.

The througt amused him more than it should. Maybe it was the pills or the fact that he was going on a mission to kill someone.

The sound of the bell dinging alerted him of scar face's return. The guy frowned as he stared at the bottle of alcohol he was just about to hand over to some kid. "You sure you know what you're doing, kid?" he asked the young Stark.

Tony raised his head to stare at the guy who rolled his eyes as if he didn't care. "No. But I don't know what else to do and I have nothing else."

The guy nodded in understanding but didn't linger any longer than needed to and for that, Tony was thankful. He didn't need anyone hovering over him, pestering him, pretending like they cared about him.

For some reason Tony's eyes were drawn back to the van where the girl was standing there by the back waiting. She looked lonely when another guy stepped out of the vehicle to walk around the back. The girl put on another one of her sultry looks only this one was full of pure lust. The guy wasn't half bad looking either so he could see why she would flirt with him. Through if they were all riding together then it would be an extremely awkward ride. Especially if they were going behind their friend's back.

A small kiss passed between the two which got more intense as time ticked by but before it went any further, the guy stopped it. The two exchanged a couple of words before the girl waved and walked off into a parked car. It was a strange ordeal, one that the teen hoped to never encounter.

As soon as he got ready to head for the school a voice called out to him. "It's a cold night for a young lad like yourself to be out with just that tiny jacket on." The guy who previously entered the store, the hippy was standing there with a small bag and a smirk.

"Oh really, I hadn't noticed." He answered sardonically.

"Your wit won't be so funny when you get three miles out from the school and you're  frozen solid, my friend." The man chuckled humorously as he waltz past him.

Tony froze. "How did you know I was going to the school?" He stared hard at the guy's back. The hippy didn't say anything but he too stopped. Then he slowly turned around to face the teen.

"There's not a single place around here except for the school which is a few miles out from here." The guy smiled. "The names Charles Xavier, in case you were wondering of reporting me to the police."

"I wasn't."

"I did say in case. It's always proper to introduce yourself to people you've just met."

"Really, well just in case you were wondering I'm not too keen on introducing myself to people I've just met. Especially ones hanging out in creepy places, with creepy people and an equally creepy van."

"I understand your caution but if I were to do that, wouldn't I have just kidnapped you by now instead of talking to you?"

"Criminals aren't as dumb as they used to be now a days. You can't be to careful." Tony stuffed his hands in his jacket, slightly rubbing his finger oover the trigger just to feel it.

The young Stark eyed the man in front of him, Charles didn't seem in a hurry to get anywhere. In his weird hippy stance he kind of looked relaxed. Shouldn't that worry Tony more than anything since the guy was confident enough to believe the boy would just walk over towards his rapist minivan and go with him. Him and his other creepy friend he had yet to meet. There should be instructions on how to deal with situations like this.

"You mean to tell me you don't know who I am?" This had to be some kind of a trick or trap. Maybe Obadiah was still out there waiting for his moment to strike. When Tony was helpless and waiting on a hail mary.

The guy shook his head. "Not in the slightest." That was bullshit. Complete and utter bullshit. Everyone knew who he was, especially after his parent's deaths or at least they heard about him.

Nevertheless he found himself introducing himself to the guy. "Tony."

"Is that it or is there more."

"Just Tony." The boy said stubbornly.

Charles nodded and offered him a warm smile. Not the creepy, sex craved smile Obadiah usually gave him but a genuine one. "Okay, Tony. My friend and I are going that way. Would you like a ride?"

"I don't want anything you're selling, 'kay dude."

Charles chuckled, his smile reached his eyes which were warm and calming at the same time. "It's not that kind of ride. You don't have to do anything for it. It's just an offer."

"Well, in the real world genius, things are never given for free. Everything comes at a price." He spoke with as much venom as he could. He was so done with this conversation, tried of people trying to change his view of the world. Everything sucked.

"Not everyone in this world is evil Tony. Some people are actually trying to help you. Some just wanna get you to were you need to be. You just have to be willing to let them."

Charles hesitated before placing his hand on his shoulder. In reality, the boy wouldn've flinch as if was burned by the touch but he didn't. It was like the guy knew what happened to him.

The hippy still had that stupid smile plastered on his face as if he won the boy over already. He may have but he didn't need to know that.

"Just show me to your stupid car so I can blow this joint." He brushed pasted Charles, not wanting to see the triumph blossom over his dumb face.

As the two marched over to the vehicle the guy Tony saw before put out his cigarette before closing the back door. "My precious one, are you ready to go?" The guy asked as he turned around to face them. "I send you in there for a map and you bring me back a kid?"

"This is Erik. Erik, this is Tony. We're going to be giving him a ride." Charles spoke up for the man who silently stared Tony down as if he was shit on his shoes.

Erik gave the boy a once over before eyeing his friend. "Kind of young for you Charles, what is he like ten?"

Tony would've felt insulted had he not paid more attention to what was said. He turned to Charles to correct him when he saw the huge blush spread across his face.

It looked as if the hippy was having a miniature aneurysm as the guy said that. When the embarrassment wore off Charles punched him in the arm. "Not like that. What is with people in thinking that's what I meant! We're giving him a ride to the school you jerk!"

Erik did seem fazed by the attack on his arm, in fact, the whole thing didn't seemed to faze him. He just stood there all stotic like. "Wow, nice insult Sheryl Temple."

For some reason of another, Tony found himself liking the pair. If they were murders or rapists trying to kidnap him, he didn't mind at all. Their company seemed to calm him.

Tony watched as the two bickered like it was an old routine for them. Erik being the brash and unreasonable one while Charles was his level headed and honorable counterpart.

It was strangely familiar.

"Stop it!" Charles pleased with his friend who seemed to have more innuendos then he had morales. "Please, Erik."

Erik opened his mouth to say something else perverted and unnecessary when he did stop. He stared up at his friend, reading his ever so soft brown eyes and nodded to himself silently. The guy turned to climb in the van uttering out a "Get in..." behind him.

Charles offered a Tony a silent apology before climbing in after him, leaving the boy standing there. "I can't force you to come with us but you really should."

"It would be morally against his code to leave a child out here. If you don't get in now I'll have to hear it all night." Erik added, starting the engine and peering out of Charles's window.

"Erik..." His friend warned.

Tony stared at the two. Nothing about them except for their actions have told him that they were going to kill him tonight. The were complete strangers to him. Potentially waiting for him to hop in so they could revel that they were holding him ransom for money. He didn't know them at all, though he wanted to. Last time he got in the car with someone, it backfired immediately.

Yet that occasion happened when he was alone with Obadiah, a man who work for his father for years. A man his father once trusted. A man Tony consider to be a trustworthy person. Look where that got him.

Tony had done more stupid stuff than this. Not everyone in the world had to be out to get him. He shrugged and climbed into the back of their van, watching as the sliding door closed automatically behind him. The sound of the lock clicking in place was dreading in his ears.

He took a seat off to the side before quickly peering into the back. A large mattress big enough for two laid peacefully back there, undisturbed.

Yep, Tony silently thought. Definitely rapists.

Charles sensing the boy's discomfort reassured him. "That's back there because we travel alot."

"And because I a man with needs who just likes sex so don't touch anything back there." Erik added in receiving a grossed out look from Tony and a disapproving glare from Charles. "What? It's true."

At least he's honest. Tony though disgusted. 


	4. A Really Stupid, Really Bad Thing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After once again getting in a mystery car with people he doesn't know Tony finds out that people aren't always evil.
> 
> And then he go's and does a really stupid, really bad thing.

The next few minutes were quiet and by quiet he meant he and Erik were quiet while Charles continually tried to start up a conversation with them. It was awkward but not a bad awkward. Tony figure the guy, Erik, wouldn't want to say anything to him and the boy was fine with that. He didn't have to say anything to him either. They were just two different kinds of stotic.

Charles however, wouldn't have any of it. The guy tried bringing up a topic that might revive their earlier conversation but that plan failed when Tony decided to all but pretend he was listening to his headphones and dazing out the window.

There were some things just best left alone, hippy. Tony thought endearingly.

That's when it happened. The moment. Tony saw it before when they were bickering earlier. Charles gave Erik a look and it seemed as if they were silently communicating with each other. Ever so subtlety, a hand reached out to the passengers side of the car and grasped the other.

It wasn't something Tony ever saw someone do with their friend unless they were comforting them. It was something, however, he seen his parent's do when they were still talking to each other. Back when they were in love.

And then it clicked.

The subtle arguing, the looks, the traveling together, the closeness and the jokes. They were in love with each other. That still didn't explain what they were doing out here and why was Erik going 50 shades of grey on the brunette instead of going 50 shades of gay on Charles.

The guy was in love with him. Whether or not Charles loved him back was debatable but he hadn't removed his hand from Erik's so...

God, he needed to stop watching those late night soap operas.

Tony watched as Erik's thumb slowly rubbed across Charles's knuckles in a slow, soothing manner. Something shinny reflected off of the guy's finger and for the first time Tony noticed the silver band on his ring finger.

Were they married?

It was as if Tony had asked the question out loud that caused Charles to yank his hand away. The guy peered behind him and offered another one of those apologetic looks. It slipped off his face as quickly as it came and Charles turned to stare out the window, not once glancing at the hurt and shocked look on Erik's face.

A range of emotions filed across his face. Confusion, hurt, anger, fear and disappointment but they didn't stay long, for they were soon replaced by a familiar emotionless glare. The guy was back to his poker face.

Tony didn't know what to say. It wasn't like he had seen something unnatural. Just days ago he was thinking about sexing all of his friends up, hell he kissed two of his guy friends already. He wasn't innocent. They didn't have to hide it from him. At least Charles didn't. He didn't think Erik cared.

"Sorry for starring." He hadn't meant to but behavior like that didn't go unnoticed in his family.

Charles shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. We shouldn't have done that in front of you. It made you feel uncomfortable..."

"It's alright, really-" Erik cut Tony off before he could explain.

"He's not a child, Charles. I'm sure he's seen more than his fare share of PDA. I was just holding your hand."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is? What should give anyone the right to justify how I feel about you and how I show you I love you." Charles was speechless. He didn't say anything. He looked as if he wanted to but didn't. "If I kissed you right now, would you be too self-righteous to even accept my feelings for you beyond this point!"

The car was accelerating at a fast speed and yet Tony didn't see Erik's feet press any harder on the pedal. How could one do that? He must have had a button. Charles seemed to notice how fast they were going too.

"Erik!" Brown eyes motioned towards Tony's direction. As if they had to be cautious on what they say around him. He was the most abrasive person in the world according to Steve.

"I don't care!"

"It's okay really!" He needed to clarify this before he really did end up dead. "My aunts'...gay and I loved her, still do." Tony wiped his sweaty palms onto his pants and looked everywhere but at the two eyes peering over him curiously.

The car started to slow down, back to It's normal speed. It felt better too. Now the boy didn't have to worry about dying by car crash, like father like son, huh? He really would be following in his parent's footsteps then.

That silence came back harder than fog on a cold October. It was choking him. The two adults just seemed to be stunned into silence, neither opted on speaking.

"I told you so." Erik said, finally to break the silence but it held less animosity than anything he previously said.

Charles sighed, resolved. "I'm sorry, Erik." The guy offered over towards his lover, husband, boyfriend, they hadn't clarified that yet. He turned towards the boy. "I just wanted to make sure you're comfortable Tony."

It had been a long time since someone married about his comfortability that wasn't his family or friends. "You don't have to worry about that. Trust me, no one does." He offered a half hearted chuckle.

Charles's head tilted at the statement while Erik raised an eyebrow at him. "Is that why your running around the town at night, accepting rides from strangers."

To be fair, he wasn't the best one to be making decisions by himself. That's what his friends were there for, to keep him in check. Well, when he still had friends. He probably won't after this.

"Your boyfriend here can be very convincing when he wants to be." Erik turned towards Charles and offered him a look that read 'I know..' "Besides, you guys haven't raped me yet so I consider you both one of the good guys."

There was silence.

And then Charles just burst out laughing. Erik had the sense to look embarrassed. Then he mumbled under his breath. "Oh my God..."

 

 

~ • ~

 

 

When they finally arrived at the school, he was already twenty minutes late. The doors would most likely be lock with students and faculty inside. He would just have to hope that Bucky came to him.

Erik drove up to the side entrance of the school where the school athletes practice everyday. Including bone head Thor and smartass Clint. Tony remembers watching them as they sweat and tackled each other all day. It was like a rendition be of a gay porn except more fan service for Tony. The thought brought a smiled to his lips.

"Welp, here's your stop kid. Get out." Erik as stotic as ever said as he glanced uninterested around the area. Technically, they weren't supposed to be on school grounds.

"Erik, that's not nice or funny." Charles scolded him.

The guy just rolled his eyes. "I'm not known for being either of those." He huffed, ready to just drive out of there to find somewhere to fuck.

"It's okay, I know deep down our thirty minutes spent together was well worth it for him. I think secretly he'll miss me." Tony joked.

"I think he secretly does too." Both chuckled at the groan that emitted from his lovers mouth.

"I think he has a name and can still hear you." Erik pouted. Not wanting to be talked about when he was right here.

Charles rolled his eyes and mouthed 'dramaqueen' towards Tony. "Thank you for the ride, Charles Xavier and for proving me wrong."

Curiously bloomed around the hippie's face. "About what?"

Tony shrugged before offering the man his hand to shake. After all it was the polite thing to do aand if Charles was anything, he was polite. "That all humans are naturally evil."

Charles took it happily, glad that the boy finally opened up a little. "Your welcome," the brunette smiled, "Tony Stark." With a wink he popped his head back into the window.

Tony shook his head. Charles may have proved that not everyone was bad person but they were still liars in his eyes.

The boy turned to stare at the school building in front of him. The nightmare of a school he had been tormented and teased in for years and he still had two more years left. Two more years and all his friends would be gone. His parents were gone so why should they stick around? They didn't owe him anything just as he didn't owe them anything.

 _That's a lie._ A little voice inside his head spoke, contradicting him. "It's not. They left me."

_They loved you. You were the one who pushed them away, remember?_

"My parent's just fucking died. I didn't want to hear their condescending apologises!" Tony didn't know why he was just standing there arguing with himself.

But that's how they help you Tony. You lean on them and they hold you up while you cry-

"And when I feel safe enough they drop me like I'm not shit! Like everything is my fault!" He shouted at an invisible force.

No one said it was your fault. That's just your guilt talking. Your parent's wanted to take you to the restaurant and got killed on their way home. It's life. Fucked up things happen to good people.

"I'm not a good person!" He hollered. He started to hyperventilate as he tried to walk towards the school. It felt as if he couldn't breathe so he reached into his coat pocket to pick out his mother's medication pill bottle. The one he stuffed anything and everything into.

He dumped at least a small handful of her pills into his palm and chugged it back without even thinking.

Look at you. Do you even know what that is? You're slowly killing yourself with that stuff. Your friends didn't go through all that hell with you just so you destroy yourself.

His mind started racing. That wasn't fair. "My friends don't care about me!" He tried to push the guilt eating away at him. "They hate me! Fuck them! And fuck you too!"

You don't really mean that do you, Tony?

The glare he sent towards the invisible voice was half hearted.

Fine. If you really want to get angry with someone, how about I show you someone who you should really direct your anger at.

Everything around him felt as if it was getting darker and harder to see until a figure materialize out of the darkness. Tony shook uncontrollably as he eyed the image in front of him.

"Hello Tony, it's been a while...huh?" Obadiah stood there, clear as day, twirling a pen around his fingers.

Tony shook his head as he felt like vomiting. "Y-Your not...real." He felt breathless. As if the sight of him was draining his ability to speak.

"Oh, your right. I'm not real but your mind believes me to be. So. Does. Your. Body." Those words sent a shiver throughout his body. Tony felt as if he didn't get away from him now then the man would pull him back into that house and rape him all over again.

The boy could practically feel his erection on his legs, his weight on his back and his breath on his neck. It was killing him. He whimpered out as he attempted to crawl away.

"Oh no no no, we can't have you leaving me already my dear lovely boy. We've only just started. You have to repay me for everything your father did to me." It was almost as if a pair of hands dragged him deeper into the darkness. "That's right. How is daddy doing dead? If he rotting in hell like you've always dreamed?"

Tony screamed out an agonizing scream over a person who wasn't even there. Tears were streaming down his face as he tried to regain his composer.

"Tony?" Steve's voice echoed in his ear as Tony's head jumped up. His eyes wide and shaking. There was no one around.

"Steve?" Tony looked around for the sound of the blonde's voice. Nothing but darkness surrounded him. A series of his friends voices erupted from each inch of of the dark corners.

"This is your fault!"

Thor.

"Why are you such a failure?"

Clint.

"You're such a disappointment!"

Natasha.

"You're not right in the head, Tony. You need help."

Bruce.

"Tony! What did you do?"

Steve.

"You and I are not friends."

Steve.

"I hate you."

Steve.

The voice changed. Distorted. Into a less familiar and more hated voice. The figure began to form once again. Only this time it was Obadiah standing there. It was James. "You're pathetic, you know that Stark?"

Tony covered his ears. His brain was screwing with him. "You're not real. You not real, you're notreal, you'renotreal!" Tears streamed down his eyes once more.

"You wanted didn't you! You asked for it!" James accused. "Sad, pathetic Tony. Always begging for help."

"I have problems. My daddy didn't love me. Boo hoo! Cry me a river, Stark. Your sad solemn life is so hard. Please." He laughed darkly. "If you were in my shoes the first thing my father would've done is slapped you across your face."

"Stop it!"

"How weak!"

"Leave me alone!"

"I don't know what Steve could've possibly see in you!"

It was like a shouting match.

"Shut up!" He screeched as he felt a hand touch him. He reached into his pocket to yank the gun out. Without even seeing who it was he aimed it towards the last place he saw Buchanan.

A loud feminine scream followed by the smell of uerine emitted towards his nostrils. As he opened his eyes fully, he saw three of the idiots who hung him upside down in the stairway, scrambling to stand. The one that stole his shit all the time and fought with his friends was lying flat on his ass, pissing and from the smell of it, shitting himself.

"L-Look Stark! We're sorry, we're sorry for doing those shitty things to you! Please... please don't kill us man, we're sorry!" The guy stuttered as he begged for his life.

Tony just stared at him. He had almost forgot about this asshole. He'd been busy running from Obadiah, his father, his friends and ditching school. Emotionlessly Tony spoke. "Don't worry Duncan, I'm not here for you."

The guy nodded before scrambling off towards his car. His friends avoided him and ran the opposite direction. Tony found it interesting on how scared they were of a guy his size. Maybe it was because of the gun he pointing at them. He wasn't lying, it wasn't meant for them but it sure did feel good to scare the bastards.

Tony stood up and whipped the tears out of his face. He calmed himself down and tried to keep focused on the task at hand. Quickly he pulled his phone out and dialed up the person he wanted to call the most since he got here.

 

~ • ~

 

The music bwas loud, blasting practically. There were hundreds of bodies bumping and dancing into each other. Some were wildly moving around while others were more conservative. The small percentage that wasn't moving was packed up on the sides.

His friends and he were quietly packed in the corner of the large gym room, trying to keep themselves hidden from the world. They were all slumped over thinking whether or not they should have came here. Tony said he would be here. They thought he would be here. They should've all gone together.

It would've been fun.

A kind get together before everything was gone, everyone at least. Now they were all just brooding around, sulking. Even Bucky who hadn't said a word since his father killed Tony's parents and went to jail. Steve was shocked he convinced his friend to even leave the house.

His parents spotted the paparazzi stalking their house, waiting to get an interview with him. It got so bad that his father had to threaten them all the way down the street in nothing but a t-shirt and pajama bottom. He was furious that day.

They would leave them alone, well Bucky alone no matter home many times they called the cops on them. Some people just didn't have a soul.

No one could see how damaged his friend was by what his father did. He tried so hard to get in contact with Tony but every time he did it went straight to voicemail.

Speaking of phones, he felt the vibration of it in his pocket. He pulled it out and read the caller ID. When he did, he also choked. Speak of the devil and he may come. "Tony!" He didn't bother hesitate to answer.

If he sounded eagar then well, it was bcause he was that, eager. His conversation caught the groups attention as they wonder who would call him now. Everyone he knew was at the dance.

"Steve, hey. Don't tell the guys I'm calling you okay." It was indeed Tony. Though his voice sounded worn and tired.

"Why?" Steve pondered. Fear and worry settled in his tone. It always did when he freaked over his friends, especially Tony. No matter how much the guy annoyed him.

"Because they might get jealous that I called you and only you. You know how it is." Tony attempted at the joke but he felt forced.

"Is this about the unspoken rule between us? All of us?" The tremble in his voice was evident.

"What unspoken rule?" On the other end of the call Tony sounded generally confused.

Steve smiled. For once the tables were turned and it was him explaining something to the genius. "The one where more than one person is bonded with another."

"Really, I thought that was just called polygamy. Foreplay, if you will." Steve could imagine Tony just winking seductively at him.

There was a pause. "Clint told me that our bond was kind of like Harry Potter's and Voldamorts. One cannot live without the other."

There was a gasp. "Holy, shit! Did golden boy just make a Harry Potter reference?"

It was small but it was familiar ground. "Language." He mouth 'It's my dad's towards his friends who nodded solemnly. It made him feel bad for doing it. "You know you're Voldemort, right?"

"Nu-uh, I look so much better in a dark cloak than him." Tony sniffed as if he was trying to cover up the hitch in his voice.

"Are you alright? I know it's a stupid question with everything that happened but I want to make sure."

There was silence on the other end. Shit, he fucked up!

"You don't have to say anything about what happened to you or, or talk about your parents! Please...just talk to me!" Steve rushed out.

"Thanks for the talk Steve." Tony uttered.

"Wait! Tony I-I..." He didn't know what he wanted to say but it didn't matter because the line ended with a click. "Damn it." He sighed.

 

~ • ~

 

Tony didn't know why he was torturing Steve but that too kind of felt good. It shouldn't but it did. It was as if he needed the guy to atone for something he had nothing to do with.

He did choose Buchanan over you. His jealous side spoke up.

Tony ignored that side of himself as sent a quick text to the person he least wanted to talk to. His plan was sent in motion. So he waited.

 

~ • ~

 

Bucky stared down at the table in front of him. His mind was elsewhere as the people around him were having fun and enjoying the time of their lives. Their friends, their relationships. Everything his wished he had.

He sat around his best friend's table of broken souls who were stationed around the table as if someone killed all their dogs, at the same time. In a way it was kind of like that except, their dogs didn't die and they're best friend was suffering. His pain was their pain.

Bucky didn't understand the genius. He was brash, annoying and all but a good friend but his Stevie saw something in him that he didn't. They all did. It was one of the reasons they were all still friends with him.

It was one of the reasons Steve kept coming back to him.

Bucky couldn't fault Stark for having a stronger relationship than him when it came to Steve. They've only been friends for five years. Tony's had several years with him.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his phone buzz on top of the table. Having nothing else to do but to dwell on his father's arrest, and that was a no no subject, he picked it up.

It was a message. From Stark.

Stark: Buchanan. This is Tony. I heard your message this morning and I decided to let you have a chance to explain yourself. Meet me in the field by the baseball dugout in five.

8:47 pm

Bucky shivered. He'd been dreading the day he'd have to meet up with the young Stark. The apology on the voicemail wasn't much but it was something. A foothold to allow Tony to figure out what he wanted to do. If he'd forgive his father for what he did or hate him forever.

Maybe this was his way of finally forgiving him. Sighing, the boy stood up and excused himself. None of the others seemed to notice and that was good he guessed. It would be easier if he didn't have to explain to them who he was going to see. They'd probably scare him off anyway with all their probing and questions.

The only person he'd have to worry about was-"Bucky! Where are you going?" Steve's concerned filled voice echoed in the distance.

"I'm just going to get some air Stevie. No need to worry about me. I'll be fine." He stated not Turing around to face him. He knew if he would he'd see right through his façade.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? What about the paparazzi?"

This time he did turn around. His eyes, at first downcast towards the ground before slowly meeting baby blue ones. Filled with worry. He reached up and cupped the younger boy's face. Bucky peered ever so deeply into his eyes as if nothing else in the world mattered. "Like I said before, I'll be fine Stevie."

His thumb slowly trailed down his cheek before gently dropping it. With that Bucky left to go take care of business.

 

~ • ~

 

The temputure drop wasn't helping. Even in his jacket wasn't enough to block the chill that passed through him. Soon he's teeth would be chattering.

The sound of shoes trudging through the grass alerted Tony of the presence walking towards him. Sure enough it was James. The boy stood tall, hands in his pockets to cover them from the cold.

He looked normal and not at all like the asshole he was presented with every day. James wore a nice white and black suit that fit him in every sense. His hair was combed back in a slick style. No doubt, Mrs. Rogers helped with that.

"Tony." Tony was taken back. Never had he heard James use his first name like that. It was usually Stark or a variation of bastard but this time it was spoken softy.

If he could be civil then good on him but Tony wasn't here to be civil. He was here for payback, revenge. "James." He practically spit it out.

"So I take it you're still mad at me." He swallowed hard.

"Mad isn't a term I'd use." He visibly shook. He knew that James could see it and Tony didn't care. He already knew what the guy thought of him. "More like thoroughly pissed off!"

This caused Bucky to widen up at the situation. Tony was out he in baggy clothes, he looked as if he hadn't slept in days. His hair was in disarray and the bags under his eyes were that more evident now that his eyes adjusted to the light. It looked as if the guy was on something which Bucky could believe. As fucked as he was, it wasn't hard.

Then he noticed the bulge in his jacket pocket. Dread began to settle in his stomach as he recalled the last thing he told Steve. "What do you have there Tony?" He nodded towards the boy's pocket.

Anger flashed across his face. "Don't call me that!"

Confusion filtered through his features. "What? Tony? That is your name, is it not?"

"You never bothered to fucking use it then, don't fucking use it now!" That's when the boy jerkingly pulled out the gun. It was small, but useful enough to chase after him if he ran.

James swallowed the bikes that rose in his throat but didn't allow the fear to reach his eyes. He just stared at Tony with harden eyes. "So your gonna shoot me now, huh...Stark?"

Even though his body was shaking his hands was stead and balanced. "That's exactly what I'm going to do." He was serious and confident which looked as if Bucky wouldn't be able to sway his mind.

The guy did the only thing he could think of. He fell to his knees and accepted his fate. "Alright then, do it." His voice sounded sure more than he felt but he was tired and wanted nothing more than a way out. "I'm ready." He said reluctantly.

Tony glared at him. His mind blaming him for ever single instance that happened since he got here.

Your fault.

Your fault.

Your fault.

"Tony!"

A loud bang rang out.


	5. I'm Not Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony never was perfect. It was the thing he hated most about himself. He could only do the most hurt and cause the most pain. He didn't know why he even still had friends.

_Your fault._

_Your fault._

_Your fault._

_"Tony!"_

_A loud bang rang out._

 

~ • ~

 

Tony breathed in and out if his nose as Steve stood behind Buchanan with a frightened look on his face. Next to him, Natasha, Thor, Clint and Bruce. Sweet Bruce who saw Tony, at the moment nothing but a monster. His friends all stood theree, watching him.

If they thought he was bad now then there was no telling what they thought of him now. He watched as their horrified faces peered over towards Bucky who was kneeling on his knees with tears in his eyes. His neck was bleeding from a scrap from the bullet.

Tony looked from them to him. "You tricked me! Made me believe that we were going to be out here all alone when we weren't! You had them follow you!"

Anger filled his heart. Everyone was a liar. "You wanted them to see me kill you! You son of a bitch! I hate you. I fucking hate you!" Tears filled his eyes. He felt itchy, uncomfortable in his skin as he twitched.

The side effects of the drugs must be kicking in. He cocked the gun to reload another shot in the barrel. The satisfying clicking sounded sent shiver down his spine. His voice was soft as to not scare Bruce anymore than he already had. "You wanted them to see me destroy myself, to become a monster." Without thinking he charged towards Bucky with nothing but anger filled rage.

A chorus of screams rang out.

"No no no no no, please Tony don't!" Steve rushed in front of his friend out of fear of what he might do.

"Go back inside the school Stevie." James uttered as he tried to keep his composer. He shouldn't be here when Stark off's him.

Tony glared at James before harshly glaring at the ground that Steve stood on, wishing it would just swallow him up. "Tony...Tony look at me." Steve's voice was calm. "Look at me."

The boy didn't want to but he had never been one to deny his taller friend when he used that no nonsense tone. His brown eyes reached his clear blue ones. Pain sprout in his chest as he watch them compelling, no plead with Tony to stop.

"You don't have to do this Tony. You don't have to hurt anyone or feel pain anymore. I know, I know I hurt you more than anyone else here when I said we weren't friends. I was wrong and I'm sorry." Slowly he walked over towards him. "It wasn't true, we've always been friends and you know that."

"I messed up. I pushed you away and stopped protecting you when you needed me the most. I'm sorry but you can't take what I did out on Bucky-" as soon as he mentioned James Tony's anger returned.

"Fuck him! Don't say his fucking name." Tony's hand came up to grip at his hair, yanking and pulling at the strains there. "Ever since he came here my life became total shit!"

Clint voice popped up over the private conversation. He began to walk over towards Steve in an attempt to block his view of Bucky. The more he saw of the boy, the angrier he got. "No Tony, it's not his fault."

"Then it's my fault right! That's what you're saying!" Tony thought hysterical. He was right, everything was his fault.

Seeing what the other two were doing the others began to form a wall between Tony and Bucky. "We are not saying that, my friend. You are not thinking clearly." Thor's voice drew attention from James who was still on his knees.

"But you're saying I asked for this, that I wanted this!"

"No one ever asks for it Tony. I of all people know what you're going through." Nat walked past the others. He wouldn't find her threatening as much as he found the others.

Tony looked guilt as the gun he had stationed on Bucky lowered slightly. They were all in front of him and he couldn't afford to miss this time.

"Nat, move please." His voice shook.

She slowly shook her head. "Tony, you're eyes aren't steady and your body is shaking. You took something. You have to tell me." Bruce's voice whimpered slightly as he tried to appeal to his friends wishes.

Steve looked as if he was disappointed by the statement which Tony should be used to by now. He wasn't and it hurt just as much as the last time.

"I'm fine Brucie baby. I am. Just a little sleepy."

"We can help you Tony, you don't have to be alone anymore. We're here, we promise." Clint offered a smile though nothing about the situation was comforting.

Tony shook his head. "No." All hope they had died when he said that. He tilted his head. Not satisfied with his failed mission. "No..." He raised his gun towards his head.

If he couldn't revenge his parents now then he'd joined them.

It all happened so fast. In an instant the gun had gone off while it was being knocked out of his hands. Arms and bodies were knocking him over, surrounding him. Tony felt strong arms grip his limbs and twist his body around.

He was being face planted straight into the ground as a few of the bodies moved off him. "Get Bucky out of here! Somebody grab the gun." Steve fired off instructions.

"I got Bucky!" Natasha said as she rushed over towards the shocked boy. He kept asking over and over if Steve was okay.

"I've got the gun!" Clint hop up and rushed over towards where the weapon had dropped.

Tony didn't or couldn't hear anything after that. He tried to struggle out of the hold that his friends pinned him in. "No!" They couldn't take this from him. "Please don't, Clint! I need it!"

He tried to fight the heavy weight that was clambered on top of him. He groaned. "No, Tony we're not going to let you kill yourself." Steve urged as he ensured he pinned the boy's shoulders into the ground.

"Steven is right Tony." Thor's voice held a harden take than his normal, cheerful out look.

Tony didn't care. He needed to go and be with his family. He was suppose to avenge their deaths and he couldn't even do that right. He was a failure. Weak. Pathetic. Just like James said.

You're fault!

You wanted it!

Things seemed to get darker. Once again Obadiah continued to taut him. "Look at you. Back where you started." Instead of Steve and Thor pushing him down in the dirt it was Obadiah. Instead of his friends holding him steady it was Obadiah raping him all over again. Instead of them urging him to calm down it was Obadiah calling him a whore and pathetic.

He couldn't help it. He screamed. He was back in the house. Back with Obadiah. Pain, agony and fear were the only emotions he seemed to feel for the past couple of days.

"Please, don't h-hurt me!" He was a mess. If he could see himself right now he'd hate how weak he'd looked.

All at once the weight on his disappeared and the next thing he new he was being flipped around. Steve hovered over his body protectively. Ever so gently a hand cupped his face.

"Please," he hadn't realized he was even saying it when he spoke. "I'm broken, you guys. I can't be helped. If any of you loved me you'd let me go on my own terms. Brucie please."

Bruce shook, anger finally settling over some part of his feature. "You think if someone loves you there just gonna let you Kill yourself! Tony that's insane! I love you okay. I do but I can't sit back and watch you condemn yourself. I won't."

Tony forcibly sat up, causing Steve move back away from him. A sarcastic smirk doned upon his lips. "I know you love me Brucie, I love-"

"No you don't Tony, you don't know how I feel." He sighed. "I love you. Like, love love you. Like I'm in love with you." The brunette hide his face from his friends who looked as if Bruce just admitted to killing someone.

Tony just sat there confused. "And I'm not the only one." The boy slowly walked over towards them and plopped down next to him. "We all kind of just fell in love you at different points in our lives."

Tony stared up at him like he'd grown another head. "I guess it just isn't going to work out huh."

"What?"

"The unspoken rule. You and Steve have it the most. It's why it won't work out." Bruce ducked his head down with a sad smile on his face.

"I-..." He didn't know what to say. He wanted nothing more than to find a way to end it all yet felt it would be a waste. He's friends would just keep trying to stop him.

"I want you guys to promise me something first. And then I won't cause you all anymore trouble."

"Name it, it's yours." Clint said confidentiality. He was sure that there was nothing he couldn't give Tony now.

"I wanna have sex with you all. Just once so I could know what it's like to be with people who love me, at least for a while." Tony whispered.

Except maybe that. Clint taken back by his bold statement. "I'm sorry, what?" The archer sat confused. How did they go from saving Bucky, to saving Tony, to talking about having a group orgy. Not the fastest way he's gotten laid but still. This topic with his friends.

Tony seemed to sense his hesitation because he looked as if he would run. Bruce grasped his wrist before he could. "We'll discuss that later, first let's go somewhere private and get you help."

"Discuss this later?" Steve exclaimed as he watched his friends all stand up to leave. "We shouldn't even be discussing this now!"

"I don't need help."

"Oh no! You are getting help Tony. I won't let something like this happen again." Steve protested as he chased after them. They needed to move or leave now. Being this close to the school with a illegal weapon was dangerous.

Tony didn't even try to fight him about it. He just quietly let Bruce drag him down towards his car and into the back seat. "Can one of you guys drive? I wanna sit with Tony to check out how bad this are." The young boy said as he sat next to his friend. The amount of softness that he held in his eyes was unaccountable. He held out his keys for one of them to take.

Thor did.

"What do you guys want me to do with the gun?" Clint questioned.

"Get in, we'll trash it when we get somewhere far away." Steve said as he hopped in the back on the other side of Tony. "Let's pick up Nat first."

When everyone was in, the car started up and they drove around the front of the building. There the red head stood, her usual not please face plastered on at the moment.

"Where's Bucky?" The blonde asked as soon as she got in the car.

First she eyed Tony before answering him. "I sent him home in a taxi."

  


**__~ • ~**

**  
**

The drive was silent between them all. With Thor driving, Natasha in the front passenger's seat and the rest in the back, clustered together. It was awkward. Tony hadn't said a word. He just sat there, high on whatever he consumed, just staring straight ahead.

Everyone was lost in their own thoughts to really say anything. All they knew was there would be a stern lecture when this was all over.


End file.
